randomness personified

best... weekend... ever...

And that's all you're privy to. How was yours?

unix is teh evul

I'm a hopelessly devoted Mozilla Firefox user. It's a good thing, too. Only criminals use non-standard browsers.

a fool and his money

I've recently been receiving unsolicited letters from various law firms of questionable repute. Don't worry. I'm not in any sort of trouble. Actually they all claim that they've found money owed to me from some mysterious location. When I received the first such letter I laughed and tossed it out. Now that I've received five similar notices I'm a bit intrigued.

I really think that they're legitimate. Why? Well they're all for the exact same dollar amount: $6,243.18. Surely they're just looking at some governmental report and sending me that line item. The only thing I can think of is that it's something to do with selling my home in Atlanta. Probably PMI reimbursements or something. Here's the catch, though. All of them want me to give them Power of Attorney to get my loot and to let them take sixty percent of the windfall.

Surely there has to be a way for me to track down this money on my own. Any ideas?

turn around bright eyes

Brace yourselves. For the next six months you're going to see the doe-eyed face of Conor Oberst staring back at you from most any publication you happen to pick up. For the uninitiated, Oberst is the Nebraska wunderkind behind the collective known as Bright Eyes.

Yesterday Conor and friends released two albums, "Digital Ash in a Digital Urn" and "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning." They're also in the midst of a three show stand at Town Hall and seemingly everywhere randomness looks. For once, though, all of the attention seems absolutely warranted.

The albums are two very different animals. "Digital Ash" is a electronic affair replete with experimental bleeps and blops and contributions from some of the biggest names in indie electronica. It's somewhat uneven and not as lyrically driven as Oberst's typical work. As a result, it's an interesting listen but somewhat uninspiring as a whole. I'm glad I listened to it first, though. After visiting its companion piece it may be a long time before I return to it.

"I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning" is a very early competitor for the best album of 2005. It's a lyrical adventure steeped in folk and Americana mixed with Oberst's emo sensibilities. It comes off as the vast and fast travelogue and diary of, well, a kid from Nebraska trying to find his way through Gotham. The jangling rhythms, the vocals sounding like they're about to plunge down the next concrete canyon, the ever exquisite harmony provided by Emmylou Harris. It all adds up to something pretty special. Don't take my word for it. The hipster bible that is Pitchfork called it "an Americana masterpiece."

None of this, however, means that I'm not going to tire of his mopey little mug.

too good to be true?

I like the concept of downloading albums. I think that the current distribution method for music antiquated and inadequate. That said, I don't really like giving Apple a buck a track for things that aren't really encoded very well. I no longer use any peer-to-peer network but I do mine the newsgroups for interesting things. If I like something I download I'll almost always buy it.

However, there's a new game in town. Allofmp3.com is an apparently legit internet music store based in Russia. They've got a pretty extensive library and a pretty interesting concept. You pay two cents a megabyte for their downloads and all of their tracks are stored in lossless audio so you can choose to pay more for files that are encoded at a higher bitrate. I might just check it out.

Some more extensive (and generally glowing) reviews of the site are here and here.

The only problem is that their legitmacy in this country is a bit sketchy and I'm not sure that artists are given monies for downloads like iTunes does. I'm hoping, though, that they become huge enough to put pressure on the big players to come up with a more economical solution.

Addendum See Linus' comment and probably stay away.

dear oscar

Oh, you silly fool. You really like that Howard Hughes, don't you? Nevermind that you don't really know the real looney. You've only met the glossy, kooky fool. Somehow I don't think you'd like the older, tissue box wearing Hughes. But that's okay. Just finally give Marty his due. It's not his best work but you know you owe him one.

You clearly like your sitcoms, too! Good ol' Hawkeye Pierce? Why, nobody's liked him since 1983! Lowell from Wings? An Oscar nominee? Splendidly unexpected! Certainly a bit of recognition for his tour de force on the barely remembered "Ned and Stacy."

Virginia Madsen's a bit tougher to figure out. What did you really like? Her work in "Candyman?" Perhaps her stunning turn in "Slam Dance?" Or are you really just trying to honor everyone who appeared in "The Hot Spot?" First Jennifer Connelly, now Virginia. Look out, Don Johnson. You're next!

Oh, and I think you've got the wrong "In Living Color" alum, too. It's supposed to be Jim Carrey. Yes, you're confused. I normally hate him. I hate Jamie Foxx more, though, and really don't want to see him fake tears again. Next year let's spread the "In Living Color" love around. Nominate David Allen Grier or Tommy Davidson. Wouldn't that be fun?

I'm just bitter that you forgot my friends. No Paul Giamatti? No Michael Moore? No Michel Gondry? But I'll watch. I'll moan when you get it wrong again. It's tough love, Oscar, but you really need to start watching better films.

why i should always be supervised

The blizzard that blanketed the Northeast this weekend meant Steph ended up being stuck in Queens and mrw ended up being stuck in the house alone for over two days. So what did I do? Why, downloaded music and shopped for CDs all day long. What else? En route from various locales now are -

The Cure - Three Imaginary Boys (Expanded Edition). Rhino is apparently re-releasing all of their albums. I'll buy everything up to the brilliant "Head on the Door." After that the shark has officially been jumped (and morphed into pop).

Jeff Buckley - Grace (Expanded Edition). I have no idea why I haven't picked this up already. One of my four or five favorite albums.

The Firey Furnaces - EP

Tift Merritt - Tambourine

Kasey Chambers - Wayward Angel

Poor Little Knitter on the Road: A Tribute to the Knitters. Again, no idea why I don't own this. The Knitters record is another favorite.

Bobby Bare, Jr - From the End of Your Leash

Brian Jonestown Massacre - Tepid Peppermint Wonderland: Retrospective

Again, I have issues...

all in the family

If there was any question as to whether or not Paul Giamatti is the greatest actor working today last night's Saturday Night Live should have laid it to rest. He seriously does no wrong. Sure, he doesn't have the greatest acting range but he's just so damn good at what he does and is so damn entertaining.

However, he'll always be second in my eyes to his father, former commissioner of baseball and Yale president A. Bartlett Giamiatti. No. I'm serious. It's a tragedy that A.B. Giamiatti died such an early death. This book is one of the few that I re-read on a regular basis. I suppose that's partially, though, due to the fact that it's quite short. It's also incredible.

While it may have lost some impact with Boston's 2004 World Series victory, Giamiatti's passionate essay "The Green Fields of the Mind" is pure magic.

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. Today, October 2, a Sunday of rain and broken branches and leaf-clogged drains and slick streets, it stopped, and summer was gone.

mail model

Those of you whom I've told to no longer use the mikewolf.net e-mail account in lieu of the Gmail account can now disregard that advice. I've set up several POP accounts at mikewolf.net and like it muchly now. I feel all organized and geekly. It's a good thing.

In review, please commence bombarding mike at mikewolf.net.

i dub thee

I just recieved a piece of spam from someone with the most wonderful name. Since this person is certainly fictitious and since such a glorious name shouldn't go to waste I've decided to adopt it as my own. Henceforth I shall be known as...

Kissinger D. Stylishly

You may not call me Kissy or Kisser. You may call me Mr. Stylishly.

at least i have a fireplace

What's in store for your weekend? Here's mine...

Snowfall amounts of six inches or more are possible... with the potential for up to a foot of snow especially in New York City... Long Island and across southeast Connecticut. Northeast winds are also expected to increase Saturday night... causing blowing and drifting snow Saturday night into Sunday.

joy of rediscovery

Driving into work this morning following our first "real" snow of the winter I reacquainted myself with what is easily my favorite winter album. Nothing warms the long, dark nights and greets the crunchy, icy mornings like Lambchop's seminal "Is a Woman."

I'm very used to you kids wrinkling your collective noses at my questionable music tastes but this, I think, is pretty amazing stuff that grows with each listen.

"My Blue Wave" by Lambchop from the album Is a Woman (2002)

(right-click, save target as)

state of randomness

Take a whirl at placing all of the states on an unmarked map of the United States. C'mon. I think there's probably a bit of luck of the draw involved, though. I had to try to place Kansas second. I did well, though: 96% with an average error of 6 miles. How did you do?

tough love

Oh, now this is just a hateful idea for a t-shirt...

You know you want one, though. Go ahead. I won't get crazy. Click here.

movin' on up

I finally think I found the bigger place that I've been looking for! I mean, the price seems right! Take a look!

I'm a bit concerned about the nearly fifty grand in monthly maintenance fees but I'm sure I can dig that much out of my sofa cushions.

(thanks to Dennis for the link)

i fold

Bored? Not sure what to do with your extra time off on this holiday weekend? Well, why not try your hand at some really absurd origami. There are easy to follow patterns like this one. How hard could it be?!

Seriously. Anybody who can make one of these and send me photos will earn my undying praise.

mission accomplished

Every year I'm delighted when one of my favorite films shows up on Roger Ebert's year-end worst list. I find him to be generally entertaining but wildly inconsistent. I mean, he had "Spiderman 2" in his top ten along with things like "House of Flying Daggers." "Spiderman 2" was not a bad film, per se, but can anyone tell me why his arm things had a mind of their own? Or why the fusion project snuffed out when it fell into the East River? Anyone? I didn't think so. But I digress...

This year Ebert put Lars Von Trier's "Dogville" at number four on his worst list. "Dogville" was, indeed, a challenging film that swung wildly and sometimes struck out. For the most part, though, I found it to have amazing acting turns and creative concepts. Ebert found it pretentious and annoying. That, I'm sure, is how he'd also describe me.

daddy's busy

Being out of the office for over a week kinda sucks. Far too much to do. So you'll have to amuse yourselves a bit. I can help, though!

Here's a guinea pig that disco dances!

back in the saddle again

Well, your less-than-intrepid reporter is back in the office as of this morning. Whether that equates to business as usual around randomness remains to be seen. Surely you understand (and don't call her Shirley...).

random check-in

I really don't have a whole lot to say. Shocking, I know. I'm just staying at home for the time being keeping my foot elevated and "working" from home. It's a bit boring. I'm actually getting a good bit done and go see the doctor tomorrow morning.

I mean, I could gush for a while about Stephanie but, frankly, you all might vomit.

why i'm not cutting my hair

Just a few more weeks and I tease it out like Randy Moss.

I'm not sure how I'll explain the hole in the middle the 'fro, though...

yeah, that

You know what's cool? When you meet a girl and you think she's gonna rock but you were wrong. She doesn't merely rock. She kinda, sorta rocks your world. And then you feel like you're both insane but you really don't effing care because you know that you're not.

And then you show her your blog and she likes it.

Yeah, that's cool.

where there's smoke...

Fairfield County Weekly outlines the disturbing mess that the Metro North has become. Meanwhile, P. Frank almost perished in a horrible fire while riding said rail line coming fo visit me in the hospital (or something quite like it...).

Another gross exaggeration (but almost as funny)

Said Jonathon Pear, a rail commuter from Fairfield, as he leaned against the vestibule wall, "It's just amazing that people put up with this... they drive their BMWs down to the [station] and then they get on a train that looks like it's straight out of Calcutta."

screw you guys, i'm goin' home

Details to follow, but it's the right choice. I'm certain of it, all three doctors are certain of, the Wound Care nurses are certain of it.

I'll still have to lay low for a while at home, will have a pump I have to use on my foot a couple of times a day and will have to come back here for surgery in a matter of weeks. Consensus is, though, that doing the surgery on Monday has a gigantic potential for doing more harm than good.

the scoop

Okay, I spoke to my doctor this morning when I was a bit more awake.

(An aside - has anyone ever tried to sleep in a hospital? It's nearly impossible and there's probably no place where sleep is more important. I've resorted to the huge 10 mg dose of Ambien and still feel like I've been hit by a mid-sized truck when the residents make their rounds at six a.m.! But I digress...)

The real scoop is he's not sure that my foot will be ready for the second surgery on Monday. He obviously wants to make sure the procedure works and doesn't want to rush it. That said, he doesn't want me to leave and have it get worse. It's a tough call, really, and I obviously also want everything to work. Tomorrow he's going to decide if it should happen on Monday or if I should go home for a couple of weeks. He's going to consult with my infectious disease doctor (Yes, I have one of those. Jealous much?) and I have a feeling that they're going to decide to do it on Monday.

If they decide to wait a couple of weeks and can give me good reasons for it I'll go along with it. I mean, the last thing I want to do is have the surgery and have it not "take."

So there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know...

an early morning bulletin

For anyone considering a visit to randomness central:

Please reconsider. As of last night (immediately after my trio of visitors left, in fact) I'm in isolation. The germs that I've impressively managed to grow are so resistant to most antibiotics that they don't want them released to the free world. So I'm iso and, frankly, pretty depressed about it.

This doesn't technically mean that I can't have visitors. Not at all. Instead anyone who visits has to don the same gear that the doctors and nurses have to wear in order to see me - a yellow paper gown, latex gloves and a yellow paper mask. I feel like I'm in that bad Dustin Hoffman movie "Outbreak" (and yes he realizes that 'bad Dustin Hoffman movie' is disturbingly redundant these days.)

So that's it. They don't think the rest of the world can handle my super cooties. Circle, circle, dot, dot...

(addendum: and then there's this chesnut from my primary surgeon who just stopped in...

There's a "good chance" that they're going to let me go with wraps on my foot and not do the second surgery until a later date. Instead I'd get to deal with visiting nurses and the effing infusion center until they're ready to do the second surgery. Seriously? I don't know if I can handle this.

The only "good" news is that this doctor, who is absolutely excellent, seems to talk through his options before settling on one. This might not be the solution. Yet...

To quote the masterful Lee Hazelwood -

aren't you glad i never
be glad i never
i'm sure glad I never
owned a gun

postal in the horse pistol

Someone's IV has been beeping for literally the last three hours. I'm not allowed out of bed (have to keep my foot elevated) but I'm about to start throwing things. Suggestions?

i, pincushion

Yes, those are three IV lines in my right arm. Ouch. I had three visitors tonight, though. That seriously made everything better. Thanks P. Frank, Darshan and Jonathan. I mean it.

must be the season of the witch

A.O. Scott, my favorite NYT film critic even before Elvis Mitchell was given the boot, writes an interesting analysis of the criticial praise for "Sideways." Gave me pause, really, when it seems that he may have even pegged me

For the most part, the groups that did not choose "Sideways" - the Village Voice Poll, for example, and the Washington film critics - selected "Before Sunset" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," both variations on the theme of a moody, cerebral fellow graced by the kind of romantic love he probably doesn't believe in and can hardly be said to deserve. Film critics, for our part, clearly have plenty of self-love to go around.

interactive randomness

When corresponding with someone whom one has met via an online dating service (and who seems to be very cool and very interested), I should

A) Never mention this little slice of cyberspace
B) Mention as quickly as possible
C) Mention after a set amount of time
D) Get an effing life

because i'm secretly a five year-old girl

I don't have any frightening pictures of tonight's dinner. That's because, while it wasn't haute cuisine, it was infinitely better than what they served up last night and was quickly gone. Those of you who've dined with me know that nothing makes randomness happier than a grilled cheese sandwich. Simple, yes, but when done right...

This one wasn't that good but it's hard to eff one up too badly. Coupled with some surprisingly good cherry cobbler and orange sherbet and I'm much happier than when I last reported.

However, that previous request right down there vvvv still stand...

oh, about that other thing

Yeah. Um, that was stupid talk. Send Japanese girls with pizza. STAT!!! Thanks.

out of order

I guess I'm a fan of Law & Order. Not as much as some people that I know and, frankly, I don't even know when it's normally on. I've seen probably less than twenty episodes. I find it very interesting because it works so well because it bucks the tide of normal dramas in that it's all very, very cookie-cutter. I mean, how much do we really know about the characters? Very little, but that's not what the show is about. But I digress...

Keeping in mind that I've seen very few episodes of a show that's been on for a decade can you please explain how the last two episodes on TNT this afternoon have both been ones that I've seen. I mean really. That's just wrong.

round one

Well, I made it through round one of the surgeries this morning (the other, more major affair is scheduled for next Monday). It was fairly short and uneventful. I was scheduled to be in the O.R. at 7 a.m. and was back here in my room before 11:30. A quick visit just now from the chaplain (I don't think I was too rude) and now I'm going to catch some sleep.

Oh, and this is the only photo from NYE that you're getting...

in with the new

I'm not sure that I ever would have imagined that I'd be welcoming the early stages of 2005 waiting on Nurse Mirna to bring my doctor recommended dose of Ambien while watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." It's a bit odd. It's a bit surreal. It's a bit depressing.

I had a lot to be thankful about in 2004. I love my job. I love where I live. My health has, all things considered, been pretty damn good. My family is almost stable. Most importantly, I've built friendships that are quite simply priceless to me.

It's just that this isn't where I ever thought I'd be at the ripe old age of 35. Do I yearn for 1.5 children and a white picket fence? Not in the least. I just want for something, well, more. I mean, Japanese (and they were indeed specifically Japanese rather than the aforementioned Asian) girls licking you on New Year's Eve is splendid and all. It's just that it's all very temporary and a day later you find yourself checking into the hospital all alone. I'm stubbornly independent. That's no revelation to any of you. I certainly don't want, though, to be sadly alone.

(ed. note - This post has been brought to you by the maddening genius of Charlie Kauffman. Nothing short of Makers Mark makes me as weepy as this film.)

dinner anyone?

Mmm... Instant mashed potatoes, mushy canned mixed vegetables and a really sad salad with bizarre dressing ("Dietsource").

our intrepid hero arrives

Well, I've made it to my lovely new surroundings at Stamford Hospital. Photos to follow but trust me when I say that it's none too inspiring. A private room courtesy of last year's bout of MRSA is welcome but makes for a tiny abode. It's frankly about the size of my bathroom at home.

Excitement thusfar has been limited to spurting blood when they started my IV (I'm a good bleeder) and finding out that the resident who has been put in charge of me is a University of Texas grad. When he found out that I was from Michigan had to immediately show off his Longhorn socks and gloat a bit about yesterday's Rose Bowl victory. Oh, I and I forgot just how simply dreadful the food was. The vegetarian lunch consisted of some really badly steamed veggies and broccolli that was literally impossible to imagine.

I'm off now off now to try to order some new iPod headphones as mine were half broken when I pulled them out of my bag. I'm blaming that on the NYE debauchery, too. Hopefully I can get them overnighted.

Just heard coming down the hall - "BUT ARE YOU PASSING GAS?!" Lovely.

If you care to send mailbombs I'm at

Mike Wolf - Room 2221
The Stamford Hospital
30 Shelburne Road
Stamford, CT 06904-9317

the next voice you hear

With any luck I will soon be your bedridden corresponder at the lovely Stamford Hospital. I've got a huge bag and a laptop packed. Surely they're going to think that I plan on moving in. I am, after all, scheduled to be there for two full weeks.

At any rate, wish me luck! I'll hopefully check back in soon.

randomess moans

If going to an open bar from 9:00 p.m. until 3:45 a.m., drinking way more than you have in years, having two lovely but severely drunken Asian girls decide to try to manhandle you (and reportedly lick you) on the dancefloor (dumping you on your ass perhaps as many as four times), temporarily losing your wallet forcing you to sleep on the floor of the nicest Manhattan apartment you've ever been in, having some disturbingly weird drunken crying jag, finally making it home at 2:15 p.m. on New Year's Day and finding your arms covered in bruises sounds like your idea of a fun New Year's Eve then I just might have had the best one EVAH. Or, like me, you might be a teensy bit mortified, a whole lotta sore and a great big pile of freaked-out that you have to go in the hospital in the morning.

Addendum - I've just been informed that there's actual photographic evidence of said Asian girls accosting me. Lovely.