randomness personified

randomness remembers

The blogosphere will be absolutely besotted today and tomorrow with remembrances and resolutions. Be assured that randomness has them, too. If you really want to know what I'm resolved to do for 2005 (not be a doormat, etc.) or what I remember from 2004 (not many dates) I'll share. However, I think you'll probably get enough of that elsewhere.

Instead, I was just thinking that I really like "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."

and later that night when 'is lights went out of sight came the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald

randomness watches

I didn't see as many films this year as I have in the last couple. The primary culprit was the ol' foot and the various devices attached to it. However, here are my favorites from what I did manage to see...

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2. Sideways
3. A Very Long Engagement
4. House of Flying Daggers
5. Fahrenheit 9/11
6. The Saddest Music in the World
7. Bad Education
8. Dogville
9. Code 46
10. Before Sunset
11. Maria Full of Grace
12. Super-Size Me
13. Garden State
14. Control Room
15. Vera Drake

The This Really Should Have Been a Better Film Award - The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The Completely Unworthy of Insane Hype Award - Napoleon Dynamite

The I Can't Believe I Just Sat Through This Bronze Medal - The Ladykillers

The I Can't Believe I Just Sat Through This Silver Medal - Touching The Void

The I Can't Believe I Just Sat Through This So Please Shoot Me In The Head Gold Medal - Brown Bunny

black celebration

Well, this morning I finally received the scoop on my New Year's weekend. I'll be admitted into the hospital on the morning of Sunday the second. The reason for the sudden entry? I'm now having two surgeries on my foot. The first will take place on Monday the third. The second will be somewhere around a week afterwards. They're planning a two-week stay at this point.

I'm trying to remain chipper about the whole ordeal. It certainly will improve my situation and, hopefully, eliminate the need for me to go to the doctor once a week. Soon I'll even be able to wear two shoes! I'll have a laptop with dial-up access so I'll try to blog from the hospital. That could be amusing. It also has a DVD drive so I'll be able to catch up on some viewing. I also have a gigantic stack of books that I want to work my way through. For the most part I'll feel just fine. I'll just be bored out of my skull.

Keep your fingers, toes and any other appropriate body parts crossed!

randomness and the crazed lesbians

Look, I'm the first to admit that my musical tastes are oftentimes, um, "odd." However, here are a couple of things that I'm really loving these days.

"The Book of Right-On" by Joanna Newsom from the album The Milk-Eyed Mender (2004)

Okay, here's the thing. You have to listen to this song at least twice. On first listen you will only hear a deranged lunatic harpist singing like some sort of retarded Bjork. Upon further visits I think you'll find it to be a beautiful, inspiring piece of songwriting. Or perhaps you'll continue to think I'm insane. This album really seems to be divisive. As I mentioned yesterday, I love it.

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"I Know I Know I Know" by Tegan & Sara from the album So Jealous (2004)

This one should have much more universal appeal. Tegan & Sara have really grown with this album. Produced by New Pornographers producers David Carswell and John Collins and featuring added instrumentation from Matt Sharp of Weezer and The Rentals, "So Jealous" is a broad leap from their Ani leanings toward a really unique sound of their own.

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he was an odd fella

While this might smack of too much information, I just got a chuckle when opening the drawer in my bedside table. I spent a lot of today re-arranging my bedroom and assembling some really nice new furniture. However the old bedside table still had some odd contents. What would someone think if I were to leave this Earth and they were to find -

*condoms
*lotion
*Breathe-Right strips
*two lighters
*a cat toy

twang

I just spent an hour avoiding my parents by tuning my guitar (a lovely handmade Seagull). I then pulled out a shiny new Steve Earle guitar pick (I've accumulated five. I figured I could waste one). Sadly neither the nice guitar nor the inspired pick could make up for my lack of talent.

a glowing endorsement

Another of my favorite holiday gifts is the debut CD from Joanna Newsom. "The Milk-Eyed Mender" is quite breathtaking, but Pitchfork probably provides a good warning for the uninitiated...

Joanna Newsom possesses one of the shrillest, most keening voices you may ever hear, a sort of cawing, screeching, open-mawed banshee affectation that can be oddly endearing, but usually just makes people wish they were deaf. At first.

If you can picture (and stomach) a female, elfin Tom Waits playing harp then you just might be her target audience!!

Watch the video here.

randomness wishes

A happy holiday to you and yours!

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas (war is over)
For weak and for strong (if you want it)
For rich and the poor ones (war is over)
The world is so wrong (now)
And so Happy Christmas (war is over)
For black and for white (if you want it)
For yellow and red ones (war is over)
Let's stop all the fight (now)

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas (war is over)
And what have we done (if you want it)
Another year over (war is over)
And a new one just begun (now)
And so Happy Christmas (war is over)
I hope you have fun (if you want it)
The near and the dear one (war is over)
The old and the young (now)

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

War is over if you want it
War is over now

the music of the night

I don't expect to like Joel Schumacher's adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "The Phantom of the Opera." I do find it kind of odd, though, that the Times' A.O. Scott writes an entire review that finds the greatest fault to be Webber's score.

I usually really like Scott but gutting something that became part of the pop culture subconscious in the mid-eighties seems silly. I'm by no means a Webber fan and find his bombast as distasteful as Scott. However that's the known element in this adaptation and hardly seems worthy of so much critical scorn twenty-five years on.

a top twenty addendum

Wow. A groovy reader (thank you!) checked out my wishlist and sent me "So Jealous," the latest Tegan and Sara album.

It's so damn good. A bit of folk, a bit of indie rock, a bit of riot grrl. Damn good stuff. If anything, it's a bit too similiar, but it's fantastic stuff. Check it out!

the sweet smell of random success

Many thanks to those who stopped by and made my first NYC holiday fest a success. Special thanks to those crazy fools who braved the holiday madness that is the Metro North. Oh, and extra special thanks to Dennis who braved the holiday madness that is LaGuardia Airport.

This was the first edition of an annual event in Atlanta and, I think, an unqualified success. Well, except for the fact that the caterer decided to switch the vegetarian spring rolls for their polar opposites - Peking Duck spring rolls. Yep. Us loopy vegetarians in the mix were left a bit, well, hungry.

I'll be a bit scarce around here until after the holidays. Crazy work days this week will be followed by a much-welcomed visit from my parents until the 29th. Then a mere weekend until Surgery Fest 2005. So much to do, so little time...

and I won't get any older, now the angels wanna wear my red shoe(s)

But at least I can finally accept your friendly votes for president!

Thanks for your kind words, too!

assorted randomness

* I'm out of the office bumming around the city Thursday and Friday. Very excited to use my new MoMA membership with Dennis tomorrow!

* It's reallllllllllllllllly effing cold out. Who approved this?

* Those of you attending the randomness gala on Saturday, it's now being catered with lots of yummy, yummy foodstuffs. See you then!

addendum- Ken, as usual, had a good idea. Post here if you're taking the train and want to combine forces!

Yes, some of the foodstuffs will be veggie friendly. There will, however, be more meat than I've ever had in my place. And I'm not referring to my guests. Much.

hands down

I swear to all things holy, there has never been nor will there every be a better Christmas song than the late, great Kirsty MacColl joining the Pogues for "Fairytale of New York." Tell me I'm wrong. You can't. The drunken dispair of poor Shane. The feisty barbs of Kirsty. Sentiment that manages to be both schlocky and rebellious at the same time. It's pure holiday magic!!

you scumbag, you maggot
you cheap lousy faggot
happy christmas your arse
i pray god it's our last

a more perfect union

Not wanting to make randomness the musical equivalent of the National Enquirer, I've been sitting on some rumored information for a few days just to make sure that said rumors are indeed true. I think it's now safe to discuss...

randomness favorites Steve Earle and Allison Moorer are now a couple. For the record, I'm not sure how to react. Allison is currently married to her songwriting partner, producer and manager Doyle "Butch" Primm. Butch is a very nice guy who I've met a couple of times and doesn't seem like the sort who would take very kindly to this situation (photo). Steve? Well, he's been married six times. Yes. That's right. Six. When I saw the reading of his play in August he was in the company of a new girlfriend. By all accounts he'd replaced her with yet another two months later. Long-term devotion doesn't seem to exactly be his forte.

One certainly can't blame Steve, though. Allison is, in my opinion, drop-dead gorgeous and possesses a once-in-a-lifetime voice. I wrote last week about her tragic family situation. She's 30 to Steve's 50 and, frankly, the whole thing seems like a gigantic field of landmines from where I sit. But what do I know? I certainly wish them both nothing but happiness. They're on tour together as we speak and, not surprisingly, her portion of the show is growing daily. Stay tuned. I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more to come.

Steve's planning on moving to NYC after this tour concludes. Perhaps he'll bring Allison along, too. Elvis and Diana, Matthew Barney and Bjork, Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson. It's about time the NYC music couples added a little twang.

living in less than perfect eharmony

So I'm still going through the motions with eHarmony. I've actually got some intresting things open right now. However, I wanted to involve my public with a couple of thoughts.

First, one of the questions is about the last good book that you've read. Am I wrong, hateful and entirely off-base for rejecting someone just because the list "The DaVinci Code" as their favorite?

Second, the point of the whole exercise is to "meet" online. I've gotten to "Open Communication" with one woman who simply sent me a simple note and her phone number. I've sent her a couple of e-mails subsequently with no response. She hasn't closed the contact so she's not suddenly uninterested but, yet, I feel weird calling someone I know NOTHING about, really. Seems like it might not be worth it. Yet, should I? If so, how long is "too long" to have waited after she sent me her number.

So? C'mon!

whatever you say there, pauly

I'm still really enjoying the new U2 album. I think it's much better than their last few but is still pretty damn homogenous. If you haven't picked it up yet I suggest you spend the couple extra bucks to get the edition that comes with a DVD (but not the one with the goofy book). Why? Well, there's a completely insane and delirious video on the DVD of Bono and The Edge playing "Vertigo" acoustically. Oh, and The Edge isn't playing an acoustic guitar. Nope. HE'S PLAYING A BANJO. It just might be the funniest thing I've seen in, well, a damn long time.

Much like the last album, though, there's one bit that makes me completely lose focus on the rest of the album. Last time around it was the entirety of that awful "New York" song. This time? Well, it's just one line in the second track, "Miracle Drug." Bono sings...

Freedom has a scent
Like the top of a newborn baby's head

Oh? Huh? Wait a minute. Um. I uh. WHAT!?

Discuss...

about that powerbook...

Well, I received news this morning that I was pretty much expecting. I'm being admitted into the hospital on January 2nd for what will amount to probably a week or so. This is hopefully the last step with this stupid foot thing I've been dealing with for nearly two years. It's frustrating, but needed.

They actually wanted to admit me today. That just wasn't happening, though. I have my birthday, out of town guests, a party and the holidays coming up. There's just no way. If it was an emergency I, of course, would've jumped on it. Fact is, this could have been done a year ago.

So thus starts randomness 2005. An IV tube in the arm and compress on the foot. It could be worse, I know, it's just not much to look forward to.

delisted

Hey! Why did no one point out that Lost in Translation wasn't on my top twenty list. Need to revise, methinks.

On that note, have you ever tried to compile a list of your favorite songs? I submit that it's nearly impossible. Albums, perhaps. Songs? Not so easy.

if you hear a scream at, say, 3:30 a.m.

Don't be alarmed. It's just me. See, I didn't sleep well last night. So this morning I had my "usual" at Starbucks (that would be a triple grande sugarfree vanilla soy latte) before dropping off my car. Later in the morning I had another cup of plain ol' coffee at the office. At lunch I had one of those hideous Red Bull knock-offs (we were at Blimpie and I had Cheetos. The Red Bull made it the Britney Special. Maybe you had to be there...). After lunch, on a total dare, I finished off one of my cow-orkers disgustingly sweet Sobe concoctions. Ergo, I've consumed way more caffeine today than any human should.

I've already had my sleepytime dosage of Melatonin and, damn it, I'm nowhere near slumber.

this i couldn't make up

Just spotted in the bodega that Daniella coined "the store that sells really good chocolate and really nasty porn," car air fresheners. Normal little tree things. You know what I mean. Only odd bit? BUTTER scented. Eww...

This all reminds me that I paid almost $750 today to get my car fixed. I think I'll shut up now.

mike wolf, blog whore

My mother (my mother!) asked me to make an Amazon wishlist. Who am I to deny my mother's sudden introduction to the 21st Century?

But, um, I do have a birthday next week. I'm gonna be 35 and everything! There's that other holiday around the corner, too. I mean, should you find a little extra change in the sofa and have nothing better to do with it. I've had my eye on a couple of things in the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book. Like this. Or maybe this. No? Fine.

I'll settle for any of this crap. And by crap, I mean good stuff! It's a long list and I really, really was trying to limit myself. Never let be said that randomness isn't really good for the economy!

firefox and mt

I love Mozilla Firefox. I've been using it instead of IE for several builds now. It's finally in a release build, too. Try it out. It's really so much better than the horrible bloat of IE.

It has a problem with Moveable Type, though. Not a big deal, but the edit buttons for the entry body are missing. This great UK blog has the fix. It's a bit intimidating if you don't like editing script, so if anybody needs help let me know.

little baby 'cheeto'

While I'm sure this post from craigslist has no legitimacy whatsoever, it might be the funniest thing I've read in days.

Britney and Kevin Federline are having a baby boy, and rumor has it the name will be Cheeto. I think they're looking for a nanny, so if you are up for it, contact me and I'll get you in touch with the right people that handle Brit, kevin and Cheeto. I am for real.

Say what you will about Mr. and Mrs. Federline, but they're an endless fount of humor for yours truly.

randomness song of the week - 120504

"The Duel" by Allison Moorer from the album The Duel (2004)

You can always count on your pal at randomness to keep you in check during the holidays. Allison, if you were unaware, has lead a bit of a difficult life. She and her older sister, the perpetually drunk Shelby Lynne, were in their teens when their father murdered their mother and took his own life in front of them. One can hardly blame her for starting the title track to her latest album...

In this cemetery mist
Stands a newborn Atheist
Even if you do exist
You're far from almighty

What follows is, to me, both inspiring and devastating. Remember, download = comment.

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randomness reviews

"Un Long Dimanche de Fiançailles (A Very Long Engagement)" directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet (2004)

**** 1/2 (out of five stars)

"A Very Long Engagement" is a film completely controlled by two of the strongest personas in modern cinema. Jean-Pierre Jeunet is known for his flair for whimsy and fantasy. Audrey Tautou is known for her quirky appeal. randomness is known for loving them both.

With that backdrop, I attended a screening of "A Very Long Engagement" yesterday afternoon at one of Manhattan's great single screen theatres, The Paris. I'm very used to hearing foreign tongue when attending foreign films in Manhattan. In fact, it's one of the things that makes going to the theatre much more special than simply watching a DVD in the comfort of home. I was very surprised, though, that literally the majority of the near capacity crowd at the Paris were speaking French. It made the screening really feel like an event.

Jeunet's adaption of Sébastien Japrisot's novel about a young Frenchwoman's search for her soldier fiancé at the end of World War I is certain to divide critics. Those who focus on the fairytale aspect of Jeunet's world will likely find the film a bit schizoid. His is a world of wonder that oftentimes doesn't exactly gibe with his depiction of the horrors of war. But that's simply nitpicking. It's a beautifully filmed ride on a cinematic rollercoaster. Where Amelié's pallete of greens and yellows conveyed the whimsy of the storyline, "Long Engagement" works entirely in quiet, sonber sepia tones. The tone and color, in fact, are very reminiscent of Jeunet's 1991 masterpiece, "Delicatessen." As a director, though, he's grown significantly since the Rube Goldberg sort of fascinations of "Delicatessen" and "City of Lost Children." "Engagement," instead, is a very complicated story of loss and redemption. I really can't go too much into the plot. It folds and unwinds into a mesmerizing maze of a mystery that sticks with you long after a first viewing and almost demands a second.

Audrey Tautou simply steals every scene of the film. The camera loves her. It's cliché, but there's no denying it. Her role isn't that far removed from her earlier turn with Jeunet but is devastatingly captivating. Certain scenes and images have stuck with me long after my viewing solely due to Audrey's performance. Once the film is in a wider release and some of you have actually seen it as well I'll go into detail on some of those.

The only fault with "Engagement" is that it tries to do too much and, as a result, fails to carry through everything with equal weight. It's a romance! It's war picture! It's a mystery! It's a art piece! It's all of these and more but, as a result, sometimes gets a bit messy. It's simply a great piece of work, though.

as i was saying

The Times weighs in today regarding glamourous actresses in the modern Chinese cinema. They spotlight not only Zhang Ziyi, but also the absurdly prolific Shu Qi and Zhang Yimou's former muse, Gong Li.

The author's description of Zhang in "House of Flying Daggers" is absolutely apt...

There are images of Ms. Zhang in "Flying Daggers" that look as if they could have been shot by Hurrell. With her alabaster skin and dark pooling eyes, her body adorned in rich brocades, and bathing alfresco while discreetly veiled by green woodland, Ms. Zhang doesn't just look bewitchingly lovely; she looks like an MGM pinup.

randomness reviews

"Shi Mian Mai Fu (House of Flying Daggers)" directed by Zhang Yimou (2004)

**** (out of five stars)

I've long been a fan of the so-called Fifth Generation filmmakers of China. The most prominent of these directors is, without a doubt, Zhang Yimou. His 1997 directoral debut, "Hong Gao Liang (Red Sorghum)" is probably my favorite Chinese film and, sadly, is unavailable on DVD in this country. He's had plenty of subsequent success with films like "Da Hong Deng Long Gao Gau Gua (Raise the Red Lantern)" and last year's surprise box office hit "Ying Xiong (Hero)." I loved "Red Lantern" but was only lukewarm on "Hero." The reason, most likely, is my long-running distaste for most martial arts films.

Make no mistake, though, "House of Flying Daggers" is a martial arts film. But it's a martial arts film like no other. The fight scenes, unlike those of "Hero," don't pack a lot of menace. Instead they feel like a gorgeously choreographed ballet. The film, quite frankly, is one of the most luscious pieces of work ever to grace the cinema. The cinematography, sound design, art direction and set pieces are literally breathtaking. It's a film that's truly a feast for the eyes and ears. I found myself audibly gasping on more than one occasion.

"Flying Daggers" doesn't rely on the sometimes heavy-handed color schemes of "Hero." Instead, it uses a palette of constantly changing hues. The early scenes are so dark that it's some time before you realize that the governmental uniforms are a dark tint of green. While our protagonists are on the run the forest is awash with warm beiges. The epic battle in the bamboo forest is tinted an almost fluorescent green. The autumnal colors of New England (which were actually filmed in Ukraine) fade suddenly to a whitewashing blizzard in the final confrontation.

The plot really is secondary in this grand visage. The thinly plotted love triangle would sink lesser films. There's really nothing remarkable about it whatsoever. However, it only removes one star from "House of Flying Daggers." It's full of silly moments, over-the-top emoting and reality suspending flourishes. It doesn't matter, though. It's a tall tale wrapped in glorious eye candy.

A good portion of that eye candy is provided by the almost painfully beautiful Zhang Ziyi. Her love scenes with Takeshi Kaneshiro are quite simply scorching. Zhang Yimou shoots his characters in close-up more than most directors and, in this case, the chemistry between his actors is feels almost palpable.

I really think this film could prove to be a hit on par with Ang Lee's "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." It's probably a lesser film if only for the light script. It certainly, though, is an unforgettable cinematic experience.

two outta three ain't bad

First things first...

An open letter to the entire states of Iowa and Nebraska -

I really do understand how much your presence in Manhattan means this holiday season. You're spending plenty of your hard-earned red state money and doing your part to help the economy of the Tri-State. Thank you for that. I also find a tiny bit of charm in your constant concern for my safety when crossing the street. I understand that you don't have people in wheelchairs traversing the halcyon streets of Dubuque. I, however, do this pretty much every day and have a pretty good idea of what I'm doing. But for the love of all things sacred... GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY.

Now, on to the rest of my story...

I didn't make it to all three films. Instead I only managed to fit in "A Very Long Engagement" and "House of Flying Daggers." On the surface these would appear to be vastly different experiences. In fact, found them to be very, very similar and perfect compliments to one another. Full reviews tomorrow. Suffice it to say, though, that I think the double feature might just have been the best day of cinema in memory. Both are brilliant, heartbreaking films.

because i'm such a dork

Heading into the city in a bit. I just might attempt to see A Very Long Engagement, House of Flying Daggers and Days of Being Wild.

because i'm that snarky

Has no one noticed that Bernard Kerik is a high school dropout? Commerce Secretary nominee Carlos Gutierrez? Dropped out of college in Mexico City. I'm just sayin'...

the real disappointment

Isn't that Jason Giambi admitted to using steroids. Seriously. Anybody who's surprised by such news has truly had their proverbial head in the sand. The real disappointment, dear readers, is that even in a court of law Mr. Giambi has a potty mouth.

Asked whether the same were true for testosterone, Giambi told the prosecutor that it called for a regular injection.

"So, you would put it in your arm?" Nedrow asked.

"No, you wouldn't," Giambi said. "You'd put it in your ass."

on second thought

If this dreck is what passes for "scholarly analysis" of contemporary music then perhaps it's essay writing that I should focus on.

randomness reviews

You know, I think I just might make this a forum for movie reviews as well as the other schlock that I prattle about. I just need to come up with a creative scoring system. Any ideas? Something based on wolves? I dunno. Somebody come up with something good, please.

Anyhow, look for reviews in the days to come of two films I've watched this week - "Yu Guanyin (Goddess of Mercy)" and "Rivers and Tides: Andy Goldsworthy Working With Time." These take a bit more time to compose, naturally, than normal silly blog bits.