randomness personified

it's all about da liberals, mon

I really am rooting for Air America, the new oxycontin-free talk radio network. I thought I'd tune in Al Franken when I was out running errands this afternoon so I got online to see where I could find them on the radio.

We only have a couple of stations in Fairfield County. We really rely on radio from NYC. As you might imagine the radio dial is also a pretty crowded place. I determined that 1190 AM is where I could find the brilliantly titled O'Franken Factor but his broadcast seemed to consist of static and bleed-through from other stations. Why, you ask? Well, Air America didn't really go all out for a glamour station in the liberal capitol of the country. WJIB AM 1190 formerly billed itself as "Caribbean Hits and More!" They seem more geared toward Beenie Man than the voice of reason.

Oh, well. There's always the RealAudio stream...

the decline of society

While getting ready for yet another round of surgery this morning, I happened on a frightening sight on the Today Show. Raise your hand if you're familiar with the stylings of one William Hung.

Apparently Mr. Hung is an American Idol reject because, well, he simply can't sing. No. That's too kind. He sings like he's demented. But apparently people love his "enthusiasm." This enthusiasm has landed him a record deal, a string of videos and concert tour kicking off on national television on the aforementioned Today Show. He may seem, well, retarded. He's not. He's a junior at UC Berkeley and is just a giant dork.

Meanwhile legitmate artists are being dropped my impatient, greedy labels in droves. Nice.

but i'm not dead yet

My host has been up and down like a Whack-a-Mole today. Seems okay now. However, if you've sent me e-mail to mikewolf.net you might want to resend. Ugh.

a labor of geek love

I spent some time today updating my CD inventory. It'll be fairly slow to load the first time you peek. It's worth it, though. Clicking the cover art will usually give you a larger version and clicking "details" will give you, uh, details. I'm working on a better HTML format for the whole thing. I'm not sold on this one.

I've decided to stop even attempting to catalog my live material if it's not Elvis. There's just too much of it and it's a pain in the ass since cover art doesn't really exist for the majority.

I've also decided to put myself back on a purchasing moratorium. No. I'm serious. I have a gigantic stack of things I haven't listened to. I'm done for a while. Too bad I did put myself under such restrictions before I bought five things yesterday. Oops!

say aaaaaaah

This is billed as the "sexy urinal." No? Yeah. I didn't think so, either.

baby i'm a star

There are only a handful of television performances that have helped reinvent musical artists. Elvis' 1968 Comeback Special and Michael Jackson's Motown Anniversary moonwalk immediately come to mind. Well, there's a new entry in the pantheon. Prince's jaw-dropping performance for his 2004 Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame induction.

I'd fallen off the Prince bandwagon several years ago. I held on tight, though, and for the longest time I thought he was pretty much the pinnacle. Hooks a mile deep, deft lyrics and musicianship of the highest caliber; he was the real deal. Somewhere along the line, though, the ego of TAFKAP or 0)+-> got in the way. By the time "Emancipated" came along I'd pretty much flown the coop. There was also the influence of someone who claimed to hate him, but that's a story for another day.

Fast forward to 2004 and Prince Rodgers Nelson is clearly on the rebound. First came the decision to play entire songs and not merely medleys of his past glory. Second the delirious pairing with Beyonce on the Grammys. Now this performance. I mean, he completely stole the show. Sure, the pistol-shaped microphone is still flat-out stupid. However, he reminded the world of what he could do on any given night with his opening salvo of "Let's Go Crazy," "Sign O' the Times" and "Kiss." He then returned to show up the stalwarts for the annual jam. Was it just me or did Tom Petty look like he just wanted to run from the stage like his pants were on fire when Prince took the solo on "While My Guitar Gently Weeps?" Harrison's son was clearly enjoying it but he was certainly in the minority. It may not have been the classiest move; showing up Petty, Lynne, Windwood, et. al.; but it certainly was damn impressive.

So I'm filled with hope and excitement for a rejuvenated PRN. I've had this hope before, though. The last time was after 1994's "Come." Not a bad record in its own way, but it was followed by a string of forgettable rehashes of old ideas. Here's hoping this is a successful reintroduction. There's only so many times one can listen to the under appreciated brilliance of tracks like "Starfish & Coffee" and not wish for some new nuggets.

I know. You're confused. It's out of character for randomness. It may not be the stuff of hipsterdom and it certainly doesn't twang. However, sooner or later we all needs the funk.

the roar of the lion

I'm still feeling incredibly mopey these days. I just want this long, drawn out winter to be over. I want to gallivant about the city. I want to see the grass of Bryant Park. I sit in the sun and read the Times. I want to watch people rowing little boats in the park. I want to feel like I can stop listening to The Smiths...

if you're so funny
then why are you on your own tonight?
and if you're so clever
then why are you on your own tonight?
if you're so very entertaining
then why are you on your own tonight?
if you're so very good-looking
why do you sleep alone tonight?
i know ...
'cause tonight is just like any other night
that's why you're on your own tonight
with your triumphs and your charms
while they're in each other's arms...
-morrissey/marr

a hole in the head

Before the whole igf thing got rolling, I meant to mention my pal Courtney Love. Anybody catch that Letterman perfomance? A thing of great beauty. She bared her breasts at least six times, couldn't carry on a conversation to save her life and would have been flat on her face during her "performance" if not for her guitarist and a very sturdy microphone stand. Apparently as sturdy as the mic stand she threw into the crowd at the Bowery later that night.

I've often bemoaned the fact I've never been able to witness a real rock star fall to pieces before my very eyes. I'm too young for the classics (Moon, Bonham, Jones, Williams, etc.) and Cobain's wasn't particularly obvious. Courtney, though, is certainly well on her way.

imagine all the people

I gotta tell you, kids, this imaginary girlfriend idea has gotten out of hand. Ken has even started up a collection for the $45 fee. So it looks like I'm going to have to go through with this. I need to start thinking about an approach. Surely I don't want the igf (new acronym, learn it) to think that we're just in this for fun. Or do we really care? I mean, we're paying the piper, so to speak. But that would probably taint her performance. Details in the coming week I'm sure.

Can I say, though, that I'm somewhat dismayed that you fine people step up to the plate for the igf but when it comes to a real girlfriend this fella gets no help. Hrmpf.

can i call you charlotte?

Maybe this is just what I need! Imaginary girls always dig me!

The ever creative Paul suggested that I actually sign up for one and blog about it. Could be fun. Hilarity could ensue or $45 could be wasted. Paul's on record as supporting Diana B. as my new fake partner. Keeping in mind my policy of never dating a girl who looks like she might beat me up, I'm kind of partial to Janey because she also looks pretty much insane. I tend to like a bit of crazy...

So what do you think? A foolish or fun endeavor?

random ketchup

Uh. Hi! I've been way too busy at work for a few days to really write anything of note. So here, in completely random order, is what I've been up to.

* Went to the Whitney Biennial with the esteemed Mr. Goldstein. It was kind of lackluster this year. Nothing shocking or jaw-dropping as in past years. I'm sure I'll go back at least once when the crowds thin a bit.

* Was completely surprised by a sleeper of a film on IFC. Julia Sweeney's "And God Said, 'Ha!'." Simply a filmed version of her one-woman show, it is both poignant and charming. Highly recommeded should you flip by it.

* Grooving to a fun disc provided by Linus. Ethan Lipton's "A New Low" hits a rare trifecta of fun, wit and hummability. I recommend it muchly. It's funny, funny stuff.

* Rediscovering the fine songcraft of one Slaid Cleeves on his long-awaited "Wishbones." I think this one probably has him poised for much more name recognition in the very near future.

* Spending way too much time working on fantasy baseball. The draft is finally over. I can move on.

why i could never be a vet

I often am mistaken for a Vietnam veteran (um, I was six when the war ended), but I could never be a veterinarian. Why? Just take a look at this...

via memepool

random complaining

You know what I hate? I hate cars. Yes. That's what I said. I, the native Michigander, hate cars.

I would be much happier if I could take mass transit everywhere I went and not have to get behind the wheel of, well, anything.

Does this have anything to do with the fact that I live off of a stretch of I-95 that literally carries five times the amount of traffic that it was intended for? Or does the fact that I'm picking up my car from the shop today and I'll be about $1500 poorer for it have some bearing? It might. It just might.

randomness, we have a problem

For some goofy reason my host has the e-mail server down. I can't even look at my old mikewolf.net messages. So, if you have something important to tell me just whisper. Or you could just wait until tomorrow. The choice is yours.

cuz i'm a twenty first century boy

I have a problem. In the schema of the world my problem is very minor and I hesitate to even bring it up here. But we're all friends, right? You can lend me an ear for a minute, can't you? Thanks. I knew I could count on you.

There aren't enough hours in a day, minutes in an hour, seconds in a minute. How do you do it, dear readers? How do you juggle a 50 hour a week job with the playthings of modern life? How do you blog when you have to take the car in for a brake job? How do you play games when you have to clean the house? How do you watch films when you have to grocery shop? How do you dine with friends when you have to take the cat to the vet? How do you listen to music when you have to do the laundry? How do you catch up on your reading when you have to go to the doctor?

Something's got to give, it seems. This boy, for one, has no idea where to start. I already eat on the run. I already feel extreme guilt for not having time to return my readers' kindness by keeping up with their blogs. I already have such an absurd backlog of CDs and bit torrents to listen to. I already have Netflix DVDs that are six weeks old. I already have 100 gig of television on my Tivo. I already don't get enough sleep.

The answer, I guess, is to keep on juggling. To keep on multi-tasking. To continue to jam a little something into every second. It's just a bit daunting sometimes.

I know. I know. I'm not alone. I know you don't have a lot of sympathy. I just wanted to whine. Thanks.

a very gray day

I'm at a client site right now and really shouldn't be taking time out to post. That said, I just wanted to share my sadness on the discovery of Spaulding Gray's body. Sure, it didn't look too good when he disappeared from his North Haven home in early January. Sure, it looked even worse when he was supposedly spotted about to jump from the Staten Island Ferry. I held out hope, though. I was a fan. His dark satire appealled to me more than I can express. Unfortunately that darkness appears to have been too much for him.

Late last year I had an opportunity to listen to the one-man show that he was performing in the Village. It was rough. He was rambling. He wasn't focused. He sounded out-of-sorts but at least he was back onstage. Ultimately even that wasn't enough to pick him back up.

always something there to remind me

Today I received an e-mail from someone whom I thought had disappeared from my life a long, long time ago. No, you silly fools. Not M. We're talking a long, long time ago.

It has left me a bit dazed, it seems. It's just odd. I'd be a liar if I said that I hadn't thought of her more than once over the last fifteen years. However I'd never really paid much thought to where she might have ended up. Seems callous and silly in retrospect. The world seems to be reminding me of such, too. It's suddenly 1987 all over again. Morrissey is on the CD player. Top Gun pops up on cable just to mock me.

I never close doors. I just don't ever expect anyone to find the doorknob. I'm glad she did and I hope she's doing well.

randomness opine

I don't often take a political position around here, but (Ha! Did anybody actually believe that?!) this issue seems pretty basic to me.

I can't imagine ever wanting to be married. No. Really. I can't. I think my poor little heart has been broken too many times by too many wayward lasses for that to ever happen. That said, our un-elected president's inclination to sully the Constitution with hate completely boggles my mind. We should stop two people from declaring and solemnizing their love for one another? It's a basic human right and the debate making it a religious issue has no place in our democracy.

*logo link stolen from my beloved Zeebah.

randomness recommends

Making their first appearance since the halcyon days of Blogger are the now spinning, reading and watching icons over there on the right. You can click on the thumbnails to open a new page with more details. I thought for a second about being a greedy little hobbit and linking to Amazon from each so I could get some sort of a kickback. Then I remembered that you fools never buy anything I tell you to. Bah.

randomness' pastime

*Ordered tickets to three Tigers games this morning. They're playing at both Shea and Yankee Stadium this year. Very excited.

*Was literally giddy when I saw that the Yankee Stadium subway station is now crip friendly. No more being clogged on the Major Deegan for hours. Any randomness readers ever make the 125th Street to Yankee Stadium trek on the 4? Am I in for pure hell?

*Am I the only one planning my weekend around watching preseason games? Uh. That's what I thought.

amuse yourself

So, I'm sick yet again. I know. It's getting old to me, too. I'm "working from home" today and actually getting a lot done.

Some of my productivity, though, involves perusing old cereal boxes. It's intriguing for some reason. I particularly enjoy the absurdity of Kellogg's OKs

but bring me the head of billy crystal

I've received more than a few e-mails today asking where the snarky randomness comments regarding the Oscars were going to appear. Yes, I watched them. No, I don't really care.

That Hobbit film ran roughshod. Yawn. I knew it was going to happen.

I've had an equal number of people ask me if I was "sad" that Lost In Translation didn't fare better. Hmm. No. I didn't really have a personal stake in it and I love the film regardless of whether or not the Academy chooses to honor it. Sofia did win for her little screenplay, though, and we were proffered plenty of shots of Scarlett. A fine evening.

Okay, I'll give you a few -

* To Robin Williams - Your really bad suit was funnier than you've been in the last fifteen years. Combining with Billy Crystal doesn't make you funnier. It makes you a two-headed piece of crap.

* To Ben Stiller & Luke-Owen Wilson - You're right. Pimping your movie isn't classy. Too bad it's also going to be an awful movie. Ben Stiller said "F*ck," didn't he?!

* To Diane Keaton - Annie Hall just might be my favorite film. It's time to retire the wardrobe though, sweetie.

* To Renée Zellweger - Thanking Tom Cruise and returning to your seat next to Nicole. That was the riskiest move of the night. Well done.

* To Errol Morris - You're right. You should have been honored for The Thin Blue Line and Stairway to Heaven but not Fog of War. My Architect is a much better film.

* To Keisha Castle-Hughes - You seem like a smug little kid. Snap out of it before it's too late. Two words - "Tatum O'Neal."