I'm not sure that I ever would have imagined that I'd be welcoming the early stages of 2005 waiting on Nurse Mirna to bring my doctor recommended dose of Ambien while watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." It's a bit odd. It's a bit surreal. It's a bit depressing.

I had a lot to be thankful about in 2004. I love my job. I love where I live. My health has, all things considered, been pretty damn good. My family is almost stable. Most importantly, I've built friendships that are quite simply priceless to me.

It's just that this isn't where I ever thought I'd be at the ripe old age of 35. Do I yearn for 1.5 children and a white picket fence? Not in the least. I just want for something, well, more. I mean, Japanese (and they were indeed specifically Japanese rather than the aforementioned Asian) girls licking you on New Year's Eve is splendid and all. It's just that it's all very temporary and a day later you find yourself checking into the hospital all alone. I'm stubbornly independent. That's no revelation to any of you. I certainly don't want, though, to be sadly alone.

(ed. note - This post has been brought to you by the maddening genius of Charlie Kauffman. Nothing short of Makers Mark makes me as weepy as this film.)