I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to hear updates on my little eHarmony exercise. So far, so boring. It's like this, every week the fine folks at eHarmony push me six to eight potential matches. I sort through them and boot the ones that I don't want to even attempt. Things like typing in ALL CAPS, indicating that you're looking for "someone to help with travel expenses" or living in some forsaken burb that I've never heard of get you bounced.

Should you make it past my not so selective process I'll see if you communicate with me. Chances are you won't because you're either appalled by my profile (at which point you'll close me with the aforementioned "other") or you'll play along until you see the photos of my ugly mug. At that point you'll enter into the "open communication" stage where we'll exchange e-mail addresses and pretend that each other doesn't exist. It's pretty functional. Pretty normal.