Because I love smutty gossip just as much as you do, I present the following from the ever entertaining Gawker...

How to fuck Colin Farrell
(Because I know all of you are sitting on the edge of your seats wondering...) According to Someone Who Would Know, you have your agent call Colin's agent and say, "----ney would like to fuck Colin. Can we schedule a time?" Unfortunately for ----ney, Colin is on location shooting a movie. He is, however, available between the hours of, say, 3PM and 4PM in his trailer. If Miss ----ney, would like to meet Mr. Farrell between the hours of 3PM and 4PM, she is welcome to do so. We're pencilling her in, so to speak. ----ney, arrives at the trailer, which has been thoughtfully equipped with lit candles by Mr. Farrell's staff. We're not saying this actually happened, but...okay, maybe we are saying this actually happened. Or not.