I'm not going to lie. I'm in a funk. A deep blue funk. Despite my best attempts to ignore it, run away from it or hope that it's just going to pass it's not getting a whole lot better. Today I was cranky with my cow orkers and those of you who know me know that I'm really never grumpy.
It's just that milestones often force you to reflect on the past. Mistakes of the past, missing pieces of the past and the pain of the past. They also make you peer into the future. Don't get me wrong. My status quo is pretty damn happy. It's just that I don't see it progressing or changing any time soon. I'm in a rut and I'm not sure how to get out it. I love my job but, really, knowing only the people I work with and working long hours is weighing me down. I'm good people, if I don't say so myself, but I'm having a hard time meeting people who aren't of the binary variety.
It's not all relationship stuff, really. That really does get to me, though. I've generally had a significant other of one degree or another for most of my post-adolescent life. Now not only is that not in the picture, it isn't even in the crystal ball. All of this had led to crip boy thoughts for the first time in years. I don't normally allow that sort of thinking to even enter my pea-sized brain. As of late, though, I'm starting to accept some of it as reality.
So, if I'm a bit quiet or a bit cranky, I apologize. I'll pull out of it. Just bear with me.
Posted by mikewolf at February 03, 2003 09:31 PMI'm also back on the bi-annual "I have to move to the city" jag. If anybody knows of an opening for a kick-ass, smart IT consultant (with a specialty in document imaging and workflow) who happens to posses stellar communication skills let me know, okay? Sigh...
Posted by: mrw on February 3, 2003 10:51 PMi don't like mondays either. at least you're working.
Posted by: deano on February 4, 2003 12:03 AMAnd at least you're not working for Satan.
Posted by: Meredith on February 4, 2003 08:46 AMI wish I were there to give you hugs.
Posted by: Cassie on February 4, 2003 10:15 AMyou're too smart to let "it" get to you! hang in there and don't think of the past but of all the future holds for you. just by reading you these last few months, i can tell you're a wonderful person.
unless, you've been fooling me all along.
Posted by: nikki g. on February 4, 2003 10:48 AMI've never been good a pep talks, so here goes.
Don't be a sucko.
Did that work?
If not, just think about the time we sang "Beast of Burden" to Ed on the van at three in the morning.
"you're a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl..."
Posted by: K. Britt on February 4, 2003 04:52 PMIt's winter. It's sucky outside. It's gray gray gray. There's no sun. It grinds ya down. I know. But, if you hang out for a while, eventually the sun comes back out and it gets warmer and people start coming out of their homes and some of them will meet you when you come out of your home. And that's how it happens. Til then, the best thing is lots of soup and good warm blankets and all these cyberhugs I'm sending your way.
Posted by: Paige on February 4, 2003 05:48 PMOut damn funk! Out I say!!
Posted by: Jim on February 4, 2003 10:06 PMDo you have an email address, Mike? I'd like to ask you about a mutual friend of ours. Please let me know!
Posted by: Storyforce on February 5, 2003 02:18 AMYou wacky kids are the greatest. Thanks for cheering me up. That goes double for all the goofs that e-mailed me dumb things to make me laugh.
I'm perkin' up. I'll try to write more later.
Posted by: mrw on February 5, 2003 09:00 AM"Randomness personified" + "deep blue something" = Blue Randomness
Not sure what you meant by your post, but it reminded me of that site.
Posted by: Random Blue Guy on September 8, 2003 10:54 AM