I successfully dodged J. for a few months. I had heard from some of her friends at the office that she was seeing someone else. That actually was a relief to me. I figured that someone else could have the headache for a while.

Finally, though, she caught up with me. She called me at work, if I remember correctly, and was so excited to speak to me. She had to fill me in on all sorts of lovely events.

First, she was working at the mall. American Eagle, I think. Second, she had moved out of the her parents' house and was living with a guy. Third, she was engaged to be married to the guy. Fourth, he was a truck driver who was older than I was. Fifth, she was pregnant.

I did the math very quickly in my head. She was still in her first trimester. The timing certainly could have put the child as mine. She was certain that it wasn't. Not sure how she knew that at the time, but I've since seen a picture of the kid and he has jet black hair like her husband. I'm in the clear. At any rate, she wanted to come pick up her stuff. She had a an apartment to furnish, after all.

She and her beau came to my place after work the next day. They showed up in her car which was still not repaired from her accident six months earlier. Her new guy was, well, big and smelly. I'm talking unwashed smelly. He was also sportin' a big wad of chewing tobacco. Purty as a picture.

I had packed her stuff into a couple of boxes. J. tried to lift one and it was too heavy for her. It was filled with plates and whatnot, after all. She asked the trucker to pick it up. He stood in front of it and bent over to get it. He jumped back up very quickly. Why? His pants fell down. Yep. Down to his knees. The conversation that followed is another memorable exchange -

J's Boy - Oops!!
J - I told you to wear a belt!
JB - I couldn't find it.
J - You always say that!
JB - Well, it's always true. I can't find it.

Somehow I managed to stifle a laugh as JB pushed the box out the door with his foot. J. followed carrying the lighter box. They loaded the car and J. hugged me goodbye.

J. and her barely pantsed trucker fiancee drove off in her over-laden ramshackle Toyota. She kept in touch with a couple of people in the office but wrote me off once she had reclaimed her goods. I heard recently that they had moved to Texas. How fitting. Everything's bigger in Texas.