Since the game was such a debacle let's spend some quality time talking about the musical "highlights" of the extravaganza.

Celine - Can some one please tell me why she keeps trotting out singing "God Bless America" while she's also doing annoying Francophile commercials for Quebec? "Come home to Quebec" and "America... my home sweet home?" Hello? Does no one understand this?

Dixie Chicks - These gals seem to have modicum of talent. Too bad it's all Nashville-lite. Is it just me or is the short one shrinking? Why do they have on ear monitors to lip-synch?

Sha-Na-Na Twain - Note to Ms. Twain: We know you're lip-synching. It's okay. We expect it. Just try to remember the words... Eek! Michael Jackson would also like his wardrobe back.

No Doubt - See. I love a lot of No Doubt. Wish they didn't choose to do "Just A Girl" for the the six billionth time. At least Gwen's really singing.

Sting & Gwen - Oh, my. Where to start. Is Gordon going through a midlife crisis, or something? I mean, really. He broke into his Police wardrobe and was even sporting the bleached spike cut. For a split second I thought it was 1982 again. Nice suit pants to go with the t-shirt, Gordo. You're showing your age no matter how hard you try. On what planet does "Message In A Bottle" make sense as a duet? It's about a castaway (which reminds me, that FedEx commercial was great, wasn't it?). If he was stranded on an "island lost at sea-uh" with Gwen I doubt he'd be sending out an S.O.S.

Bon Jovi - Saved from hearing even a note when Cassie called. Thanks, Cass. I'm sure I couldn't have stomached it. It's much nicer to hear your voice.

P.S. - Actual content on the Critic for the next few days! Check it out, please.