You know what I hate? I hate people who talk really loudly on a quiet train full of commuters trying to read. You know what I hate even more? When said loud talker is a lying asshole trying to chat-up a really gullible girl.
Tonight on the way home I was minding my own business on an absurdly crowded train. I was trying to read my Franzen book and the train was quiet as it always is on weekdays. That ended when some beefy crew cut guy of questionable intelligence started chatting-up this girl. It didn't take long before she asked him what he did.
Loud Asshole: I'm a musician.
Gullible Girl: Oh, what do you play?
LA: Horns mostly.
GG: What kind of horn?
LA: Oh, you know, all of them. Trombone, French.
GG: What kind of music?
LA: Oh, pretty much all kinds. Rock, jazz, classical.
GG: Oh? Ever play with any rock bands I might know?
LA: Nah. That's not my genre.
GG: Oh (disappointedly)
LA: Well, I did play with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers!
GG: Really? They have horns? On their record?
LA: I don't know about their records. I played with them on tour for like a year.
GG: On tour? What songs?
LA: You know, I don't even know the song titles. I just read the sheet music.
And on, and on, and on, and on. Apparently this dude also is considering a career in the FBI and knows somebody who was in the military and "killed, like, two people." He was so cool.
Posted by mikewolf at January 15, 2003 08:51 PMone of the reasons bobby stopped taking the train to work is because of this same(well almost same)reason. there's always one somewhere, making enough noise to make you want to jump off the train.
Posted by: nikki g. on January 15, 2003 10:29 PMUgh. Try living in a military town. *Every* man is a "beefy crew cut guy of questionable intelligence" trying to impress a gullible girl. The sad part is, most of the women I know fall for it.
Posted by: K. Britt on January 16, 2003 01:07 AMYou could start taking a digital camcorder with you to film those scenes. I think cutting all the scenes together would make quite an entertaining flick. Last time I was in NYC, I video taped a couple of cars. I also took a couple of photos with my wide angle lens (not enough light though). I think I could definitely do a coffee table book on subway commuters.
Posted by: Meredith on January 16, 2003 08:47 AMi think there should be a rule next to the "no smoking, eating, or drinking on the train" to include "NO TALKING MUTHA FUCKA! I'VE HAD A LONG DAY AND I'M NOT IN THE MODD FOR YOUR SHIT!"
- thank you,
the management