First, let me apologize to anyone that believes that I met M. "through a friend." I know I've told some people that, but probably no one who reads randomness. If I did, I apologize. It was a little white lie because the truth was a bit too geeky for some. I met M. when we both belonged to the Aimee Mann mailing list. God. That really and truly seems like another lifetime.

I went solo tonight to see Aimee at the Beacon Theatre. I never really thought about whether or not it would bring back bad memories. I don't know why, but that possiblity never even entered my mind. Well, it did. Big ugly memories and sadness and anger and resentment and some more sadness for good measure. Plenty to think about on the long walk back to Grand Central. On the 15th it will be one year since I last saw her. It's completely mind-boggling. I can't even begin to form the words to describe how I feel. It creeps in when I least expect it. Certain places, things, sounds, even smells. Afterward for minutes, hours or sometimes even days I'm trapped in thinking about what could have been, what I thought would be.

Of course, it's pretty easy to snap out of by just remembering some of the absurdities and lies. I mean, we're talkin' big epic lies on top of lies.

Wow. Sorry to be so melancholy. Thanks for listening.

Anyhow, the show was great. I got some really, really good pictures, too. Pics on A Day In The Life and a review on Critic later this weekend.

And, no, I didn't see her there. I imagine that she was. I slipped in and out as quickly as I could to minimize the potential.