The ever lovely and entertaining Partygirl has just lauded me with the worst title I can imagine. I, Mike Wolf, am B&T.

For those of you not in the Tri-State area, B&T is Bridge & Tunnel. This is a unique New York put-down that applies to anyone who takes a bridge or tunnel to get into the City. The concept of this title is obvious. Those of us who don't live in one of the five boroughs are somehow lesser. Wannabes, if you will. I would probably be the worst type of B&T'er - one who goes into the City on a very regular basis and loves everything the City has to offer. In fact, I often speak as though I do live in the City, something that PG called me on. I'm still mulling over how I feel about this one.

On one hand, I'd love to live in the City. See my 100 things for further proof. However, the City just isn't very "do-able" for crip boy. Most apartment buildings have steps and even fewer don't have tiny doorways. Getting around is even harder. Literally less than ten-percent of the subway stations have elevators. Those that do aren't in areas I'd want to travel to. Having a car is a nightmare at best. So my only options are usually cabs. Not a cheap proposition.

That said, it's still one that I want to take on. All I need is a job close to where I work. (Ed. note - Yes, Mike is so dumb that he just wrote that. We don't understand, either. We think he meant a job close to where he lives. One never knows, though, does one?) Easy, right? Yeah. I'm having a hard time with it, too.

Whatever you do, don't hold it against PG. She's right and she writes some of the wittiest stuff.