Remember when were talking about keys-locked-in-car stories on the tagboard? I mentioned that my pal Bruce has the best story and he's agreed to share it. Thanks, Hippiebruce! Enjoy, and remember, it's all about life's lessons...

I have to share with you a story from our recent trip to Hawaii that proves I'm possibly the dumbest guy on the face of the planet. Every bit of this story is true.

The day we took our snorkeling trip to Lanai on the Navatek II, we were told to drive our rental car to the dock, then follow a shuttle bus to a nearby parking lot. We dutifully followed the shuttle bus to the lot and pulled into a parking space while the shuttle bus waited to take us back.

Now, we all have a kind of rhythm about things, like getting out of a car. It was early and I was going through my usual mindless get-out-the-car actions when Cathy suggested I leave the car seat pushed forward so the sun wouldn't hit it. This I did, then hit the button to lock all the doors, and closed the door. Immediately, I felt for the key in my hand. It wasn't there. With a sinking feeling, I squinted through the window. The key hung in the ignition. Locked out. Well, nothing to be done, so with a shrug we boarded the shuttle and returned to the dock. While waiting to board the boat, Cathy called AAA who said no problem, we'll have someone from Kehei Lock and Key meet you at your car at 3:30 this afternoon. And off we go.

We return to the dock six hours later, board the shuttle, and get off where our car is parked. Cars are starting up all around us while we settle in to wait 30 minutes for the locksmith in the blazing Hawaiian sun. Within minutes it felt like someone was poking my face with hot needles, and there was no shade nearby. One by one, cars drive away. Soon, we're the only ones remaining in the vast lot. And yet...I think I can hear a car engine running. Somewhere nearby. Like...on the car I'm leaning on...? About that time Cathy says incredulously, her voice rising, "Is the engine running?!"

Yes, the engine was running. The car had been idling for six hours in the hot Hawaiian sun. Wait. It gets better. A million panicked thoughts run through my mind. The car is out of oil. The engine block is going to crack. It won't have enough gas to get us to the nearest gas station. The locksmith is going to think we're total idiots. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BUY A RENTAL CAR! What do we do...what do we do...?! It's a convertible, and I pull at the top in a futile gesture of hoplessness like some kind of cartoon character, as if I could somehow rip the top off and climb inside. I peer desperately into the car...and notice that the doorlock knob on the passenger side seems to be a little higher than the knob on the driver's side. With a growing sense of the surreal, I stroll around, put my hand on the door handle, pull up tentatively...and the door swings open. Cathy and I look at each other as our jaws drop to the hot asphalt and rebound into our heads. Yes, we left a car idling for six hours in a public parking lot in the hot Hawaiian sun with a door unlocked.

First, we ran to a pay phone to cancel the locksmith, more out of fear than anything else. We wanted no witnesses. Had the locksmith shown up only to open the passenger door with a single tug and bemused look, we would have had nochoice but to kill him. The next thing we did was drive back to our hotel, only stopping to get gas. It was a quiet ride back as we were a little too dazzled by the peculiar combination of mind boggling incompetence and blind monkey luck that had befallen us. I think I broke the silence first with a terse, "As God is my witness, I'll never bad mouth a Chrysler again."

Bruce